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Nijaah Howard Survives Custody Harassment To Raise An Independent Successful Son
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| Get a Copy of Raising John's Boy |
Nijaah Howard is a new author of Raising John’s Boy. She pre-launched her book in March, but it will be released nationwide everywhere books are sold in June 2020. Raising Johns Boy is a self-help memoir and guide to help single mothers who are raising son’s alone to discover their strength, voice, and power while eliminating negative self-talk and fear of raising a boy.
This book is a raw, honest approach to how Nijaah raised her son, M-Jay. The hope is that the reader will take away practical tools to alleviate any concerns or misconceptions of a woman raising a boy into an independent, self-sufficient, stand up man.
Over 60 % of the African American household is run by women. Nijaah’s hope is to reduce the rate of single parent households tomorrow by helping mother’s who are raising son’s today. Despite the over a decade back and forth in custody court, thoughts of suicide, thrown into jail by her son’s father, the many days of self-blame, the disparity of treatment from the system because she was not financially better than her son’s father, she still had dreams.
Although Nijaah was granted full custody early on, the manipulation, bullying, and control during court was paralyzing. She was determined to fight for her and her son’s future. With years of personal growth and development through counsel and coaching she overcame everything and graduated with her master’s degree and her son graduated the same year with high honors from High School.
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Raising John’s Boy confronts issues such as low self-esteem, self-care, and strategies for establishing a solid relationship for both mother and son. Due to the negative seeds planted in the minds of single mother’s that a man needs to be in the home for their son to be a whole being is the reason why Nijaah advocates for ‘family unity’.
This book is to empower women raising their sons solo that they will be “ok”; not to raise their sons with animosity, bitterness or anger, but to be in control of self & raise him with the confidence of knowing ‘you already won’; however this book is also engaging men to initiate a healthy and balance dialogue with other men on the power of “staying” and “accountability”.
Nijaah Howard by trade is a mental health counselor with a focus on addiction, a graduate of Nyack College and many more distinctions. She is the publisher of THOUGHTS/ACTION magazine, the first multicultural uplifting magazine for men and woman of color.
In 2012, she founded Young Men Strong, LLC, an umbrella company that embodies her brand of empowering, educating, engaging African American boys and men through media, consulting, and mentoring. Nijaah is working to open a Health and Resource Center for Men where she will offer psychotherapy services, resources, and other opportunities for males of color to reduce stress and enhance their personal and professional lives.
During COVID-19, everyone’s lives have completely changed, school closing, quarantine, business shut down and yes, the court system working on an extremely limited to no schedule. Many court proceedings with custody battles are in limbo and families are at the mercy of Judges holding the court date and petitions dictating the outcome of their future.
Will I get my child back from his father this week? Do I get to keep my child for another week?
Will the court finally decide in my favor this time? Will this end in reduction of visitation? These are some of the questions a mother like Nijaah had to ask herself when her court cases fell on holidays, or snow days. It was not an easy journey, but she made it and now she is an Empowerment Coach offering services and workshops for single mother’s on how to overcome and reach their success.
Excited to be a new author, Nijaah wants to help as many single mothers who is going through the hell with their child’s father or no father in the picture at all to dig deep and take the leap. She takes on a honest and direct approach to help mother’s raise their son to be the man they wished they had.
“When we strengthen our boys and men, we stabilize our girls and women” ~Nijaah Howard
To learn more about Nijaah Howard (Empowerment Coach Mo) go to her website: www.NijaaHoward.com, @youngmenstrong. Her book is available on the website for purchase at Paypal: youngmenstrong@gmail.com. To book Nijaah for talks or sessions you can reach out to info@netstruc.net.
Exclusive Interview With Kamau Austin Interviewing Nijaah Howard
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| Kamau Austin (left) Interviews Nijaah Howard (right) |
Kamau: Can you tell us a little about your background and life growing up and living in Southeast Queens?
Nijaah Howard: I grew up in a proud African American middle-class family of four. My father was a city worker and my mother, a banker.
Both are retired now, however, they worked hard and provided a supportive, loving foundation for my sister and me. I grew up in a close community where neighbors looked out for one another and I was able to spend a night at my friend’s house without any concern.
My friends and I traveled the same schools and remain close to this day. I loved how afterschool consisted of nutritious meals, homework tutoring, double dutch, flies-up, or having races in the school yard.
Growing up in my household was fun, worry-free, and filled with love and faith. I would watch duck tales, ninja turtles, or rainbow brite cartoons after school and eat fruity pebbles.
Kamau: What was some of your biggest challenges in your life? How did you overcome them?
Nijaah Howard: I had many challenges, all different stages of my life. I’ve always been a visionary.
I would say my first biggest challenge as an adult was in 1997 when I began my first 501c3 nonprofit organization, Millennium Minds Educational & Recreational program. It was a STEM program long before STEM became a household name.
Watching people develop ideas I came up with early on was challenging because they had the maturity, finances, and network to develop the ideas, leaving me to watch them manifest my vision. It was very difficult to watch and never get recognition for the years of work I invested into my community.
It took time to overcome the feeling of betrayal. I eventually dissolved the program and came to realize that what God has for you, will be for you and no matter how many imitators, God knows your heart and work invested. I had to learn how to trust my Heavenly Father.
The other challenge was the growing pains of being a young mother and the struggles I endured raising my son alone. Society already planted a seed that I was destined to fail.
Over 60% of households were run by women and when I heard statements like ‘Only men can raise men’ or ‘Women cannot raise men’. As a young mother, I could see how those statements could puncture wounds into how mothers think, feel, and question their ability to raise a good man and perpetuate the void young boys may feel when fathers are not in the home.
I was determined to break the stereotype so I could offer mothers and their sons the hope to press forward, so I stayed prayed up and remembered God’s promises to me end in Yeah and Amen.
Kamau: How did you find the fortitude to dig deep and turn your life around?
Nijaah Howard: I knew I had purpose in my life. Giving up was an option but I didn’t take it.
I raised my son alone, but I wasn’t by myself. I stayed connected to the word of God and the people in my life who genuinely wanted the best for me, sometimes it was blood relatives and often it was not.
I’ve frequented many of God’s temples seeking refuge and peace. Sometimes complete strangers stepped in right on time. Since I’ve been able to navigate through many dark valleys, complex corn mazes of life while raising my son; I felt a since of obligation to God to give other women some insight. My God gets all the glory.
Kamau: What are some of the thing’s readers can learn from your book?
Nijaah Howard: Raising John’s Boy was also intentional about unifying Black/Brown families and restoring self-love, respect, faith, pride and humility. Too many Black Men & Women are putting each other down and glorifying division.
RJB is a lifetime keeper, a healing tool that was designed for all households who are raising boys into men. The hope is that you walk with me, be engaged, empowered, and educated.
This book isn’t only for single mothers, it’s for any and everyone who is open to learning and doing something new for themselves and their families. I hope this book excites you and gives you the hope you need to press forward regardless of who you are or your circumstance.
This is about resetting the button so Black/Brown men can grow up in a household where they can reach their highest peak of wholeness’ be it emotionally and mentally even when life isn’t fair.
Kamau: Can you tell us about your ability to raise successful children with your busy schedule and career development?
Nijaah Howard: I don’t have superpowers. I am human. It took me many years to get to where I am now.
I didn’t know half the time if I was raising my son the “right” way. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other with the belief and intention to rise above the label and limits placed on both of us.
I had to fight for me and my son’s future. I had to manage my life in sections.
I couldn’t do many things like go back to school, hold down a full-time well-paying job, healthy dating, or focus on my professional career at the same time until my son was old enough and I was no longer a pawn in the court system.
The way I was able to successfully complete a task was to finish it before moving on to another one. When I tried to do all at once, I remember feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, and defeated because it was just too much to handle all at once.
So, I realized that in order to be successful at it all, I had to control each factor of my life and self-development little pieces at a time. I was patient with the entire healing process.
Kamau: What do you do to enjoy life and have fun?
Nijaah Howard: I make it my business to travel internationally at least once year so I can learn parts of another language, eat traditional foods, decompress and just become culturally aware.
I also like to take local quality time spontaneous trips with my son since he’s still at home and I am still single. We enjoy one another’s company.
We like to take long train rides to nowhere and find fun things to do in that community. I love going walking in the early morning before many wakes up. I also like to read books or magazines on psychology or personal development. I also like to watch old black n white films with my grandmother, listening to old Motown greats with my Mother or dancing salsa with my father.
Kamau: Can you tell us about some of your goals and plans for the future?
Nijaah Howard: My next goal is for my publication THOUGHTS magazine for Black/Brown men and women to ignite a greater desire of learning and respecting one another and rebuilding the family unit. I also hope that Raising John’s Boy becomes a best seller so I can open a Heath and Resource Center for Men coping with mental illness in New York. A safe space where gentlemen go to unwind, rewind, and rejuvenate.
Kamau: What is the best way to contact you and get your book?
Nijaah Howard: You can reach me on social media handles (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin) @youngmenstrong or my personal website: www.nijaaHoward.com
Raising John’s Boy is everywhere books are sold: Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Borders, Kindle, etc.
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